citrus

Brainstorming my Narratology essay

The narrator in Atonement is at once heterodiagetic and extradiegetic, as the characters depicted understand their own thoughts and actions and their extent of knowledge relies on the actions done to them or by the people around them, but each of the characters perspectives is given in turn by an overseeing viewpoint, however once the ‘trick’ is revealed at the end of Atonement and it is revealed that the book is Briony’s manuscript, does that change the narratorial voice to homodiagetic and intradiegetic —

what the goddamn hell am I even writing

Both Channel 10 and ABC news had a segment on Angelina Jolie’s leg.

Are we serious, Australia. Is that what we’re doing for news now?

(Well I say “news”, the 7PM project is a steaming pile of embarrassment, and there is no good way to segue into a piece on a school shooting in America, but there must be a BETTER way than straight after a segment on Angeline Jolie’s leg)

I legitimately had a dream that President Snow had stolen my Battle Royale novel (which is taking forever to come in the mail) to read in a secret cubby house, and by the time I had caught him he had written lots of insults in the margins.

Deconstruct THAT. 

So a girl sat down between me and another girl at the study lounge about five minutes ago.

And proceeded to unwrap a kebab.

The girl across from me:

She then proceeds to spread the kebab wrapping paper across the table, creeping upon to the territory girl 2 and I have created with our respective laptops, notes etc. 

The girl across from me:

AND THEN

She proceeds

To eat her kebab

With her mouth open

Making smacking noises as she does

…

…

…

I don’t actually have a gif for girl 2’s reaction because then she actually blew up at her and told her to GTFO, but here is one similar reaction!gif which I hope you will peruse while imagining Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyrie” is playing in the foreground.

The kebab!girl left.

It was awesome.

The End.

(This has been a public service announcement: THIS IS A LIBRARY. NOT A CAFE.)

This happened today

Me: On le train, listening to my iPod

WHEN SUDDENLY

I see a guy on the train about my age, with messy black hair, sunglasses, reading the newspaper and… wearing Dante’s outfit from DMC4

SO NATURALLY I MESSAGE EVERYONE

(if you are not aware, this outfit involves black and red leather assless chaps)

(also there are no cons going on in Sydney atm, hence my confusion) 

Amy: Does he look our age?

Me: Yes… wait, are you on this train???

Amy: lol no I went to Sunday School with him!

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me: what

Amy: lol yeah, he… he doesn’t go to church anymore

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me:

Amy:

Amy:

Amy: yeah, he…. he dresses like that now.  

So I’m fairly certain there’s a blackbird in my father’s greenhouse trying to make a nest in a potted orchid

Bird you are drunk

Bird what are you doing

What Jacqui does when she stays home sick from uni

1. Wakes up early and refreshed instead of sleeping in (!?!) (9:00 AM)

2. Decides to empty and re-organise her wardrobe, putting aside old/unwanted clothes for charity bin (2 hours)

3. Has seven Weet Bix for breakfast (!?!)

4. Tidies entire house, cleaning bathrooms, surfaces, vaccuuming and washing the floors (2 hours)

5. Exercises in living room, including jumping jacks, lunges, stretches etc (30 min)

6. Sits down to update Tumblr in a daze with lunch, a mandarin and prawn+crab dip with carrot sticks.